I really don't. I want to stay.
Everyone says, "you haven't been here long enough to really see Cameroon!" It's only been six weeks. But I still feel like I've been here forever. Okay, no I don't really. But I feel like I've been here a really long time. I was thinking back on Kumbo and I was like, "that was only a few weeks ago!" Even Tunen feels like an eternity away, but I was there this time last week!
It's completely crazy.
I had my debrief today with some of the workers at CABTAL. That was fun. They all laughed at my pick-pocket story. They think I'm really brave because I came on my own, went out into the villages without any orientation, and now I confronted a pick-pocket. They're going to think I'm crazy brave if I do anything else. Just wait. Next thing you know a spider will fall on me and I'll jump ten feet in the air. That'll fix it. I was told that a couple people called one of the ladies at CABTAL and told her that I really inspired them. They saw this young girl come and give up her holiday to work with the people and here they were retired and not doing anything. That man actually said he was going to start doing something and was going to talk to his kids, too. The lady said she talked to his daughter. I just wish they had come and talked to me....
I feel so torn up inside. On the one hand, I do want to go home. I want to see my family and friends. I want to be able to drive and I want to be able to go out without worrying about being harassed for being a white girl. I really want to go back to school. On the other hand, I want to be more of a help! I want to keep working. there are villages I haven't gone to yet and people who still need recordings. As much as I didn't always enjoy it, I feel like I just barely started the work. Four villages have recordings now. What about the others? I don't want to go home and sleep in a familiar bed if it means there is still more I can do here.
I don't know if this is a calling from God or just my OCD kicking in because I'm leaving something unfinished, but it feels so wrong to leave so soon. I've barely stayed in one place long enough to really make friends. I was only just now able to go shopping. There are so many reasons to stay and so many reasons to go... I'm going to call out my teachers right now. If y'all don't make classes interesting this fall, I may jump on a plane and come back.
Dear Lord, I just want to thank You for this time I've had here. I know I had challenges and struggles the whole time, but I've learned to keep perspective and to trust You. You are the one with the perfect plan to lead and guide me. You are the one who brings me through the challenges and helps me see the light at the end of the it all. you kept me safe during these last weeks. You keep me safe during my whole life. Thank You. Lord, you know my heart and know how I'm feeling right now. Please help me be at peace with going home, but please also bring me back one day. Let me continue helping with this work You've started here to spread Your word. Please let me be a part of helping to spread Your word to all the people. I know there is always work to be done in my own neighborhood, but this is so much more... me. Please Lord, bring me back one day. Amen.
Everyone says, "you haven't been here long enough to really see Cameroon!" It's only been six weeks. But I still feel like I've been here forever. Okay, no I don't really. But I feel like I've been here a really long time. I was thinking back on Kumbo and I was like, "that was only a few weeks ago!" Even Tunen feels like an eternity away, but I was there this time last week!
It's completely crazy.
I had my debrief today with some of the workers at CABTAL. That was fun. They all laughed at my pick-pocket story. They think I'm really brave because I came on my own, went out into the villages without any orientation, and now I confronted a pick-pocket. They're going to think I'm crazy brave if I do anything else. Just wait. Next thing you know a spider will fall on me and I'll jump ten feet in the air. That'll fix it. I was told that a couple people called one of the ladies at CABTAL and told her that I really inspired them. They saw this young girl come and give up her holiday to work with the people and here they were retired and not doing anything. That man actually said he was going to start doing something and was going to talk to his kids, too. The lady said she talked to his daughter. I just wish they had come and talked to me....
I feel so torn up inside. On the one hand, I do want to go home. I want to see my family and friends. I want to be able to drive and I want to be able to go out without worrying about being harassed for being a white girl. I really want to go back to school. On the other hand, I want to be more of a help! I want to keep working. there are villages I haven't gone to yet and people who still need recordings. As much as I didn't always enjoy it, I feel like I just barely started the work. Four villages have recordings now. What about the others? I don't want to go home and sleep in a familiar bed if it means there is still more I can do here.
I don't know if this is a calling from God or just my OCD kicking in because I'm leaving something unfinished, but it feels so wrong to leave so soon. I've barely stayed in one place long enough to really make friends. I was only just now able to go shopping. There are so many reasons to stay and so many reasons to go... I'm going to call out my teachers right now. If y'all don't make classes interesting this fall, I may jump on a plane and come back.
Dear Lord, I just want to thank You for this time I've had here. I know I had challenges and struggles the whole time, but I've learned to keep perspective and to trust You. You are the one with the perfect plan to lead and guide me. You are the one who brings me through the challenges and helps me see the light at the end of the it all. you kept me safe during these last weeks. You keep me safe during my whole life. Thank You. Lord, you know my heart and know how I'm feeling right now. Please help me be at peace with going home, but please also bring me back one day. Let me continue helping with this work You've started here to spread Your word. Please let me be a part of helping to spread Your word to all the people. I know there is always work to be done in my own neighborhood, but this is so much more... me. Please Lord, bring me back one day. Amen.
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